Running Around with My Head Cut Off (not literally of course)

This is going to have to be short because I am currently sitting in my lecture class at the computer while my students take their exam.

Some of you might possibly be wondering how my seminar went......well..........It went ok. I can not pinpoint another moment in my life where I have experienced a higher, more concentrated amount of stress. I thank God (literally of course) for my Mum being able to come and support me. I honestly would have been more  of a wreck then I already was if she had not been there. Also, I had a great group of friends who came to support me too. You know who your true friends are who come to watch your seminar (which is dry as bones) just because they knew it was important to me. Unofficially I passed my seminar (my second reader still has to watch it and give it his stamp of approval). That means that all I really have left is to write my thesis.....yeah....that shouldn't be hard right???? hahaha. : |  So...it took me all of Saturday to physically recover from the stress I experienced Friday. And Sunday I still wasn't completely myself. Currently, this week I am subbing for a friend's paper route. This means that my alarm clock (aka my phone) goes off at 2:30am. This morning I was planning on baking cookies for a lesson for my students after the exam but I woke up at 4:30am...ahhhhh LATE!!!!! I literally ran through the paper route and finished at 6:30. I still needed to shower and get ready for the day and leave the house at 7am to go to the store to buy ice cream for VBS (because I said I would bring a gallon completely forgetting that I wasn't going to be there due to my class) and then get to work by 8am for my students to take their exam.

All in all I made it to work at 8:01 (according to the clock in the classroom). I am wicked tired right now and didn't have any coffee in the house (which I do not need but because of my extended amount of lack of sleep I need it just to exist through the day, not to wake up). But, God knew I needed those two extra hours of sleep. I would have rather come back after the paper route to bake cookies and possibly take a nap (and not rush around like my life depended on it all morning). God had other plans and I did make it to work on time. I don't feel like I got two extra hours of sleep but I sure know I needed it. Thanks God.

But....I.....I.....Don't Speak...Good....... :\

A quick post. Tomorrow is my Graduate Research Seminar!!! Um...yeah....so I have a lot of work to get done before that soooo......I felt like this was on my heart....Exodus 4:10-12

¹⁰ Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”¹¹ The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? ¹² Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

God will help me say what I need to say tomorrow! I can't do this seminar on my own accord. Oh, NO! I stubble over my own thoughts and by the time they make it out of my mouth they are backwards and probably inside out too. God, bless tomorrow and give me the energy and the words to say to convey how much work has been put into this project. And, just how awesome my project is!!! (The results are AMAZING!!!)

Finish Strong!

This is more or less a selfish post. I LOVE this video! I watched this game while it was happening. (I actually had an internship literally two blocks from the stadium but that weekend I went to visit my aunt and grandmother).

Anyway, we (Grammy, my cousin Luke, and I) were watching this game. I was rooting for Syracuse (1. because my brother owns just about every article of clothing with that orange 'S' on it and 2. because well, I like them too). I didn't follow any games and really only watched this one because we found it while flipping through channels. Boy am I glad we found it though. The whole game was back and forth. Then, in the second half, it was all Cornell. Like ALL Cornell. You almost got to a point where you forgot what it felt like for Syracuse to score......time was running out.....and.....................(well, why don't you watch it for yourself)

I always tear up watching this. It is seriously ridiculous just how awesome how Syracuse won that game! (I am assuming by now you either watched the video, which, if you didn't, you should, or you are assuming the outcome without watching the video, which, you should watch the video) As a fan you can only be so supportive. The team had dug themselves into what seemed like an insurmountable hole. But, the boys kept playing. They might have felt like it was a waste of time, but they played just as strong (if not stronger) and WON!

I watched this video yesterday to get me motivated to continue with research. I am dragging right now and so I thought I would share this motivation with everyone. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. He does not promise that you will win. In fact, He tells us we are going to lose over and over and over again. But, that builds who we are and it prepares us for what other games are later on in the season!

Science Sunday: All of God's Design is based in Math!

Ok, so, if you are a mathmitician about to read this post...I am very sorry to inform you, there are no equations, and no novel math based theories. I like math, but I am not great at it. It takes me a lot of focus with no distractions (which just about never happens). Also, any of the following ideas are not my own. 

Mandelbrot, in 1967, published a paper in Science. It was titled "How long is the coast of Britain?". In this paper (which you can read for yourselves at: http://users.math.yale.edu/~bbm3/web_pdfs/howLongIsTheCoastOfBritain.pdf ) talked about a novel way to describe the coastal shore in it's entirety. His major conclusion is that you can use fractals to describe the coast. If you use a yard stick (which they would never use a yard stick in Britain) to measure the shore you will get a distance. This distance will not be extremely accurate because you are unable to use that yard stick to measure every nook and cranny of the organic coastal line. Then, if you use a ruler to measure the coast you will get a more accurate measurement that describes the distance covered by the coast. Next, if you use a one centimeter ruler (I would never EVER wish this on anyone for a research project! Which, by the way, I give my defense of my research this Friday!!! AHHH! Yikes! But that also means....I'M ALMOST DONE!) Anyway, if you were to take that itty-bitty centimeter ruler and measure the coastline you will get another number that is even more accurate than before. Keeping this trend, each time you use a smaller measurement to describe that line, you are describing it with more and more accuracy. Or, as you measure the coastline with an infinitely small tool, your description of the coast gets infinitely more accurate. 

There you go....Fractals. Fractals are the branch of math that describes naturally occurring phenomena. (A fern is a perfect example of a fractal) 

The medical field discovered that our blood vessels are organized in a fractal pattern. With this information, they can locate a tumor based off of the patterns the vessels form (CRAZY!). If you would like a pictoral example of fractals in nature, jump on over to the following website (they have great pictures):

http://www.miqel.com/fractals_math_patterns/visual-math-natural-fractals.html. God designed the whole earth with math as it's backbone!!!! 

Daily Inspiration!

Research, Research, Research, Research........Research. Congratulations, you just survived a quick look into the inner functions of my current state of mind. haha. Well, again, this post was inspired by a song I heard on Pandora while, well, doing research.

Watch the video below. It is the inspiration for the song I picked today for the post.

And, here is the entire song so you can listen to all of the lyrics.

Well, the God Experience for today: There are many times where you are given more than you can handle. Yes, I said it, MORE than you can handle. You aren't strong enough to deal with everything that comes in your life.....(hopefully you didn't stop reading the post by this point. I am not discouraging you)........and....we weren't designed to be strong enough. GOD is STRONG ENOUGH! The dynamic duo of God and I creates a version of myself that IS strong enough for anything that comes at me. ANYTHING!

I want to quickly just say that this song applies to all of us at some point. We get to a point where we don't even understand how (or why) this is all happening to just one person. But, here is where the title of the post comes from. My mother, or as I call her, my Mum, knows this all too well. She is a beautiful example of how any trial or challenge can be met and conquered when you are paired with a God who is strong enough. Mum, you are amazing!

What a reassuring feeling that we don't have to be strong enough. There is no need for us to try to be strong enough. When in the midst of a trial (well, actually, it should happen all the time....good or bad) take advantage of the benefits of the God and You tag team!

Up, Down, Up, Down. Life is Like a Chevron!

I have been completely inconsistent posting recently. Today I have honestly had so many God Experiences to make up for every day I have missed a post (and then some). It is seriously amazing how listening to worship music while working on something you dread doing can help you get through it, and even enjoy doing it. (Of course I am still talking about research). With each new thought throughout the day I have wondered which one I would end up posting. Well, this one kept playing through my head (it is actually two together, which might be cheating, but this is my blog and I guess that means I can make the rules/guidelines).

The last song that I listened to on Pandora (I finally figured out just how great it is. I was reluctant to listen to Pandora because everyone talks about it) was 'Closer to Love' by Mat Kearney.

I liked the song, and when I found the music video, I liked the song even more! One line in this song stuck out to me (well, actually more than one did, but, once again....right now lets just pretend only one line stuck out to me in the song). The line "we're all just phone call from their knees". True story. It doesn't matter where you are in your life. All it takes is one phone call and it can completely tear you down from where you are (whether it is up high on a mountain top or beginning to climb up again). It was perfect that the song that played right before this song was "Get Down" by Audio Adrenaline (I love those guys!). They use the words "humbleness is left untasted" and "when you're all alone, He's carrying you!". I think I might have posted this song before (I don't have time to look back and check) but if I didn't, check out the Youtube video because it is great! 

Anyway, God tells us we will get knocked down. But, He also tells us that He will be there carrying us when we can't take it anymore. When we get that phone call, it can knock us flat on our faces, but this helps us learn humility (along with many other things). Humility is essential to understand a slew of things but one is how to relate to people, or to love people where they are at. They might be struggling with their faith because they are in a hard time and need someone who has walked where they are before to help give them guidance (or just to be a friend when everyone else has left their side, other than God of course). 

While God has promised us that He will be there for us the whole time we are in a state of 'learning', a lot of times it really might not feel like He is there, or even in the same neighborhood. This is why He also provides friends. Not just friends, but those friends who will always, and I mean ALWAYS, be there for you. From when you have to collapse in their embrace or when you need to call someone to complain about a hang nail, they are there. They know you deep down in your soul, and you have allowed them to know you that intimately because you have developed trust between each other. There are few greater feelings than seeing someone you love after you have been separated from each other for a long period of time! I get down (it seems more frequent than not) but I know He will lift me up, and He has blessed me with friends/family who help me realize that God is right there carrying me the WHOLE time, whether I feel Him or not.

Grace Grace Everywhere. I should probably give some away!

I have been more crazy than ever. I have less than a week to get all my research data collected and then I have my seminar the following week! AHHHHH!!! Oh yeah...and the summer class that I'm teaching started up this week so that means I need to make 8 hours of lecture power points each week for the next 5 weeks (and 4 exams too). Humm....well, luckily I have nothing to do. That should be really fun! Those are just the academic things going on in my life....there is much more happening other than that too....Well, as much as I feel like the above are good excuses for not posting in a while.....they aren't. I have had God Experiences! There were quite a few this past Sunday! But, wouldn't you believe that I have completely forgotten them.

A good friend and I had a conversation through facebook and she reminded me of how much grace I am given every day. I get a ton from everyone around me but what I was focused on was the grace that God gives me. If He is able to be so gracious to me how would I even think about denying someone my grace? That reminds me of the parable of the man who was waived of all of his fees to the king and immediately after his slate was cleaned he went out and threw a man who owed him a minuscule amount of money in jail until he could pay him back. When the king found out about this he was furious and retrieved the man and punished him for not showing the same kindness he was shown to his deter.

We can't with hold grace and compassion from people around us (yes, even when they don't deserve it....actually, especially when they don't deserve it) because we were in the same boat.

Hocus Pocus FOCUS!

Well, I have been in research crunch time for the last month and a half (or more) but currently I am in SUPER CRUNCH TIME mode. Ahhhh! This project has redefined my definition of focus! (Actually, it might have made me even more scatter brained than I was at the start). When I laid down to go to sleep last night I couldn't even stop thinking about my project. My mind was flipping through different methods to eliminate image noise in my head that we (my adviser and I) could try to get a higher phase only correlation value (not important if you didn't get that last sentence..... haha)

Anyway, I had an awesome chat with a good friend on the phone yesterday. And....at the same time I was able to get research done! Yes, amazing, I know. My friend and I were able to catch up with what God is doing in both of our lives since we barely ever get to chat. I discussed with him my frustration with my life currently. (Don't get me wrong, I love my life.) My frustration comes when I think about what I am doing right now with it. I am up to my eyeballs (or even further) in student loans for my education. I am working at nausea to finish my advanced degree. I don't have a full time job to take care of those eyeball high loans. At the end of August I don't have a place to live. And the list continues....This is how the list flies through my mind. My mind only focuses on the negative and then I get super frustrated with where I'm at. Blah Blah Blah Blah....I could seriously keep writing more of how my mind works but, to be honest...it doesn't really apply to my God Experience.

All in all, while debriefing my friend, I came to the conclusion that I am focused on what is (or isn't) to come, instead of FOCUSING on the PRESENT! Like, what is happening right NOW......and NOW......and NOW in my life. Why worry and freak out about tomorrow when I should really be FOCUSED on today! God talks about how beautiful He has made the flowers outside, and even though He has made each one so beautiful and delicate, they only last a short amount of time.

If He spends that much energy making sure those temporary things of this world are taken care of.....how

much more energy does God spend taking care of us? I need to focus on what I am doing in my life today. Tomorrow will take care of itself!

28“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:28-30

FREEDOM!

Ah....well, if you didn't realize it....yesterday was the 4th of July.

http://www.homesbymorningstar.com/uploads/Liberty4th-of-july.jpg

It's the day we celebrate America's independence! Yesterday I celebrated my freedom by doing research all day. But what crossed my mind was that I am free.

I live in a free country! I am meat free! and I am free from the eternal consequences of my sin...........Sin....the self inflicted separation from God. Ewwww.....really anything 'self-inflicted' sounds worse when described as such. Even awesome things lose their luster when 'self-inflicted'. Lucky for us.....sin doesn't lose any luster. The only way that sin has luster to begin with is if Satan makes it look better than it actually is, and that is not nice, why he is Satan and not God.

Anyway.....I am free. The freedom experienced in this country was paid by countless people's lives. In the same way, my eternal freedom was paid for my one man, Jesus. I can never express just how thankful I am for everyone who was part of making this country great. Along the same lines.....try as I may, I will never be able to truly express my gratitude to God for my salvation. (luckily, He knows, since He knows everything....)

I'm Sick of Looking Through the Motel PeepHole

Ok God. I feel completely out of control of my life....oh wait....I am.....ha ha....You are in control! Recently,  there have been a lot of moments like that. I have been trying to find a job, a place to live, sanity, and even just a simple 'plan' for my life. Do I want to move home? Do  I want to stay right where I am? What about moving somewhere completely different? So many choices! I have never really liked having a lot of choices. I struggle at restaurants trying to pick what I want to eat. If I have difficulty choosing something so temporary as a meal how would I decide anything that holds any sort of weight or importance in my life, like a job??!!! It is reassuring that I don't have to plan my life.

But I like maps, and I like knowing where I'm headed. I am a HUGE advocate of being mentally prepared for things. A simple heads-up for me means SO much! Right now I feel like I don't even have a little peephole to view my life through. You know exactly what I'm talking about.

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzZgTfkEAgSxpDbpljxhJpLSSO9iPl4RJaLT1R5TcQDuYJNEjfnwA7TUAQxu7I2F260nZ3ndMjj5GsaQuO_uF4vq170jsh_cEDyhunUnf3PahGb4Beee3wzK0rOUKLNNPj_tLmUMnb5ng/s320/peephole.bmp

When you are staying in a motel (or hotel for you upper class folks ha ha) and someone knocks on the door you look through that stupid clear marble in the door to try to figure out who is on the other side without opening the door. Of course, you can cover the peep-hole, but that doesn't even matter because the distortion from the design of the peephole alone makes people completely unrecognizable.

So, I should just trust that God is outside the motel door with something awesome (like pizza!), something great, and completely unpredictable for my life. That's right God. I'm expecting something completely unpredictable and different from anything I could ever dream or plan for. I'm not going to look through the peephole....I'm just going to open the door! Bring it on!

Science Sunday: Burn Baby, Burn!

In high school I took a sculpture shop class. In that class I got to learn how to weld! And, boy, let me tell you, if I had an opportunity to weld the rest of my life, I would should take it! I fell in love instantly (after I got over the sheer fear of blowing up the building of course). Yesterday's God experience was all about metal!

If you look up Zechariah 13:9 (or if you read it below)

This third I will put into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'the LORD is our GOD.'

it talks about metal refinement. In my high school class we did not refine any metals, but I did Google the process. I actually looked up 'smelting' (which is the process of getting the metal separate from the ore it was found in). This is a type of refinement since it is removing a lot of impurities.

http://compendiumofawesome.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/blog-smelting.jpg

I'm not going to get into the details but what basically happens in the smelting process is that extreme heat is used along with other compounds to liquefy the metal and be able to remove it from the 'junk'. In the verse above it talks about God throwing His people into the refining process. We go through extreme heat and tough times to begin to separate from the 'junk' that surrounds us. Different temperatures are used for different kinds of metals. So, for some people they require a lower heat for a longer time to remove the 'junk' from their lives. Other people require an extreme heat for a short amount of time to begin the purification process.

When we experience an increase in temperature in our lives (more theoretical heat, not necessarily the summer or global warming) it is God refining us. He is removing things in our lives that are keeping us from being the purest metal around. Even a little flaw in a piece of metal can keep it from being used to make fine jewelry. And, since we start by being surrounded by so much ore to begin with, our refinement process lasts our whole lives. There is always more 'crud' (to use my favorite scientific term) to be extracted from us.

Don't resist God's refinement for your life. You are precious to Him and He is developing you into the priceless metal you were designed to become.